kristin has been a bad kristin
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
