Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
