when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
one two three fourrrrnication!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He better not be in your backpack
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
