ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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