My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...