Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
