I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's shark week go big or go home
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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