ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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