What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize