She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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