A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
