Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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