Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
