Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
