I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
