it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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