she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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