I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize