oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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