And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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