I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
