i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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