If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
