I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
