New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize