i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
