dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Come share oat with me in your robe
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
