Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
