Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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