Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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