I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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