and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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