she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize