Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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