did you get engaged???
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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