i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize