I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
