i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
