We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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