if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
