Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
