just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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