Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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