isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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