these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
