she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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