We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
