so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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