Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
