Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
