I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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