today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize