Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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