He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
