Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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