Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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